BLUE OCT.

:D this is the first time im organising something hahaa. hope i dont screw this up! :))

i feel so vulnerable at home. that devil/satan just threw a bottle(glass!) of ketchup on my feet. i got many small cuts from that. mom bought noodles for me, he threw it on the floor. after than he threw the chair next to me; it broke.

i am thinking of sueing him man. thinking.
how i really wish i can get married and get out of the house. this is really killing me..

hais.. i really really REALLY wanna move out.. that man is crazy.. drunk and threatened to strangle me.. said hurtful things like 'take what degree go and die better.' im alone in the house with him somemore. sighs. talk about blood ties. god.. pls send someone here to save me.. god.. can you hear me.. im so depressed now.. life seemed so meaningless. :'(

hais my self esteem is already so low.. he makes it sink down even further..

hot chocolate.

drizzly hazey cold outside. my hands are cold. my cheeks are cold. even my mind's cold. can somebody give me a big warm hug. nevermind if you're a stranger; i think im way too cold to even care.

night falls, the cold slowly creeps in icily into the bones of the poor little match girl, enticing her into the deep sleep of eternal death.

twinkle twinkle lil' star, how i wonder what you are.

ahaha met up with Jane, Bern, Wan Lin at kenny rogers @ marina sq today. supposedly meeting time was 5pm, i arrived at 7pm.. SORRY! ahaha. Wan Lin's night shift somemore. have a peaceful night!

after eating(omfg 1st time i didnt manage to finish the chicken so wasted!!) Bern, Jane, me headed out to the esplanade to have some drinks. weird thou, its the 3 of us again. last time at the alley bar it was also the same company. at harry's we chatted, we laughed. i had this screwdriver drink; im so gonna learn how to make it ahahaa i love the taste of it! hmm looked for the recipe over the net to find out it's just a mix of vodka & orange juice. im gonna try to improvise it and make my own blend! :D

as i was saying, we were chatting and Bern said this phrase i think i'll remember it for the rest of my life. its a common phrase, yet its came along with such deep meaning. "when its meant to be happened, it'll happen. this is fate."
hmm fate. destiny. yeah maybe. what is your eventually would be yours qianling. yup. chill chill and go to sleep.

goodnight world. goodnight my love wherever you are; sweet dreams :)

realist; i am.

well if i know that nothing is gonna come out of it, i wont even look at it; even i desperately hope something would come out of it.

cause the higher you hope, the harder you crash.

recently i found a new side to myself; when im attracted to somebody, i tend to keep damn quiet and will avoid that person. SIA LA WHATS UP MAN. let that how to get boyfriend?! woah sometimes i kinda envy those flirtatious and chio girls. they can get the one they like ever so easily. i will stammer so badly and make a fool outta myself man. SHIT.

sounding so emo nemo here. hmm let me see; oh yeah. Leng's chalet on 3rd sept. so happy she invited me. happy happy. oh wait.. gotta attend course 8.30-5pm. shit. oh wells can always go after that. ahahaa yeah im looking forward to that :)

yeah work wise everything's so far so good. hais recently i got a new assignment.. to be a preceptor of a prcp student.. when i heard the news i was like wtf. dont know its me too competent or am i too dumb kenna being arrowed for this. i think its the latter lor. aiya dont know la. dont know what the kings and queens want. but i hope i dont mess things up for this student.. god pls bless me. arghhh still at the stage where i cant believe im going for my degree. kinda excited, kinda worried. fear of the unknown. one step at a time; go with the flow lor.

i keep telling myself; tml will be a better day qianling. believe. have faith.

i'm yourssssssss.

oh mommy!

i think i inherited my random-ness from my mom. why? because yesterday morning after night shift(i was so shag and looking like a zombie), she asked: qianling ah your 21st birthday coming leh why still no boyfriend yet ah faster find one leh. aiyo my girl so pretty why cannot find aiyo.

goodness i was like HUH WTH. ahaha love her random-ness sometimes(eg she can buy1 whole cake for me to eat on a random day; fyi i love cakes) but her comment kinda left me irritated and speechless. some things is not like you want it, you get it. actually i wanna reply her that im so gonna stay single till my deathday ahaha no i did not; too tired and sound way too negative early in the morning. might ruin her day ahaha.

hais. anyways i cant go Jane's chalet on 22th. arghhh. dont know why im so sad abt it D: oh wells there's always next time ahahaha. hmm gonna watch pixar's UP later with Diana and Shikin. its been so long since i've hang out with them.. and gonna settle my degree stuffs too. can you believe it.. im going for my degree. omgoodness. jellybean is gonna pack her bags and head off for school (:

well, some doctors can be such himbos when it comes to bimbotic nurses. i thought too highly of them. oh well, being highly educated doesnt mean you have common sense. ahahaha WHATTTTTT.

not feeling healthy :(

feeling sick. aching everywhere.
hmm i guess i'll go for a stroll at the canal near my house. bringing my dilly along for a walk too.
ahahaha i guess despite being a tad bit unwell, Nora's sms did cheer me up. STRETCHHHHH! :)

ps: hello Yue Jun!(ahahaa so random are you reading it now :D)

YOU.

spotted you. but it is really you?

hello you.

i do hope its really you.

but then again,

WHO ARE YOU?

:D

old world ideas #17: lock the heart and throw the key away into the boundless blue sea;

hey i tried to be zen today!

i am not a very patient person, i daresay. yet, i survived today without flaring up at anyone despite the workload. well, I THINK I DID GREAT TODAY. :)))

i wanna take my camera out and go on a date with me. just me and myself. i will just shoot whatever and however i like. no one to tell me what to do. i just go snap snap snap.

the brillant blue sky. the merciless busy roads. the forgotten alleys. the old soul buildings. the stark wrinkles of old people. the vibrant city lights. the dull rusty vehicles.

the thought of it.. woah.. SO DAMN SHIOK.

work today was.. so-so, except i had some really stubborn patients. to be serious, i actually kinda LIKE annoying patients. im a weirdo right. YES I LOVE irritating patients ahahaha. the more annoying the better.
cuz i think rather than those quiet quiet hush hush patients scary. they dont tell me anything, i wouldnt know anything. but dear god, i hope you will not assign all these kind of patients(annoying) to me. just afew would do ahaha.

seriously im thinking of getting a bike liscence. since i've no boyfriend now(and i think im gonna remain single forever), why not? my family dont bothers abt me; my bro heck cares me. he only cares abt his girlfriend. my dad, what he does all day is drink drink drink. my mom? forget it. im like a stranger in the family. i go home, i shut the door and stay there whole day. so why not? i shd do the things i like, pursue the things i want in life!

omg i want a vespaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. :D we'll see!

i should be nonchalant when ppl going to faint. fancy being accused of behaving hysterically when someone gonna faint. okay. then what. i shall let you die there. go to hell then. bye bye.

hysterical is better than being nonchalant okay. at least it means something is being done to help that person. get your facts right bitch.

DRIVE IN LIFE.

i found my aim once again and im working towards it :)
god pls give me power to do this.

happy happy.

fucking pissed. imagine this. you have made this appointment with someone like 1 wk in advance(and u pushed away other more impt appts for this), and when this day comes, you overslept. its 4pm now. this person only MESSAGED ONCE to remind you at 10am. yea true its my fault that i overlooked the time. but the BEST thing is that when u contact this person and said ure sorry, he says: "due to the long wait, im meeting someone else. =x"

WTF! this person shd have AT LEAST CALLED right? isnt it something ppl normally do? A does not reply to B sms. B shd CALL right? common sense!! duh. and wtf is up with the reply?! "due to the long wait, im meeting someone else. =x" FUCK! and who do you think you are? a superstar who can diss ppl off just like that? or you have SO MANY FRIENDS to choose from that you can just kick ppl off like that? and wads with the =x. what?! you're so popular that you have to reject ppl gently by putting this fucking thing is it?--> =x oooo im so honored to be gently rejected by you. oh man you gotta be kidding me. this is so hilarious. well, you can go have fun with ur friends all day long. i dont really care. cos if i said that, you're not even a friend to me. in fact, you cant even be a friend if you said: "due to the long wait, im meeting someone else. =x" AHAHAHAHA WTF! im actually laughing at this. LMAO.

ahahaaa forget all that shit crap. here's the reason why this morning i overslept cos i only came home at 5am. pictures! :D CLICK!
happy birthday to both Caren and Shikin:)) the chalet was AWESOME and ktv was EUPHORIA man hahaha. indeed, im so lucky to have friends. thank god. :D

something to write abt the chalet.

♥great beehoon, great cake, cool games like balloon fighting bursting and musical dance stopper, great host!, great company.

something to write abt the KTV session.

♥loads of screaming, jay chou rapping, andy lau's toilet bowl, euphoric Mayday songs, jolin 72 bian(QY shd have come man!) etc etc!

ahaha!! too bad. i think he's not straight. Queojos tan bonitos tienes! say that to me i'll just faint on the floor..

ICHIHARA HAYATO.

虹の女神

both of them loved each other, but no one said so. a beautiful yet tragic romance that never happened. tomoya and aoi. if you love someone, tell them. dont wait till its too late, and regret it for the rest of your life.

i like this name Aoi. i think its a pretty name. Aoi. see this trailer here.

and also.. i wanna watch this!

hahah so funny.. but shiats. i cant find this ANYWHERE. :( CHECK IT OUT, YO!

woahhh.. long side burns.. :D

i need love.

today i had 2 persons advicing me to be more confident. one is patient, one is my colleague.

i was doing this dressing for the pt, dont know why she out of the blue commented that i looked pretty. i was like wtf. then i told her no.. i'm not. then she insisted: yes you are! i was like HUH?! argh.. pls stop joking. then she suddenly said: ya ah girl ah, you must more be more confident.. you are pretty and kind-hearted you know. HAHAHA i was thinking: she must be joking, or being sarcastic. but she seemed nice enough to me, didnt looking like a liar. i just plainly smiled and finished my work.

my colleague(preceptor!) also adviced me the same thing too. on job wise. i'm competent, i can teach others too, though i have only 1 yr experience. just believe in yourself.

how i wish there's this magic portion that can boost my confidence level. just a bit will do.